Jokes

* I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore. 

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* Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”
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* Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in five years, Mr. Nik?"Mr. Nik: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
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* Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."
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* boy: What you think about our love?
Girl: Try to count the stars in the sky.
Boy: waaa... it's infinite.
Girl: No darling it is a waste of time.
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* Who said English is easy?

Fill this blank with 'Yes' or 'no'.
1. ------- I don't have a brain.
2. ------- I don't have sense.
3. -------  I am stupid.
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* Wife: Had your lunch?
Husband: Had your lunch?
Wife: I am asking you.
Husband: I am asking you.
Wife: You copying me.
Husband: You copying me.

Wife: let's go shopping.
Husband: Yes I had my lunch.
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* What breed of dogs can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, because Buildings can't jump.
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* Teacher: What is your date of birth?
Gaurav: October, 25th.
Teacher: Which Year?
Gaurav: It is every year. 
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* Sameer: what are you doing?
Pranay: recording baby's vice. 
Sameer: but why?
Pranay: when he grew up, I will ask him what it meant.
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* Why do you write 'etc' at the end in the exam?
Coz it means.....
E-end of 
T-thinking
C-capacity
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* Girl: You are very shame!!

   Boy: Yes born also nude!!
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*Daily wash your socks otherwise when success came to touch your feet than because of your socks, success will faint on smelling !!
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*one was happy husband !!

Checking, whose husband was...!!
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* Sometimes I thought that.......
"अंबानी का डेटा ओर सोनिया का बेटा "
if they had not existed then how we entertain yourself !!
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* Teacher: "What is the difference between these three?
Call Girl, Girlfriend, Wife!!"
Suddenly the class was silent, then one student.....
"Prepaid, Post-Paid, Unlimited !!"
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* In my home, no one tries to wake me.....
Because they know, after woked he will using mobile !!
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* True girlfriend is she.....
Who sells their own kidney to buy an iPhone for her boyfriend and then ask "would you need anything .......ask me, one more kidney is remaining !!"
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* thought of the day!!
Never feel that, who is in front of you is a lower level.
Might be he or she can be a bigger fool than you.
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* Do you know.........
In the temple, why there is a man instead of a woman?
Because to make concentration on god. 
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* Son: Mom give me Rs.10, I want to give it to a poor person, who is standing outside the door.
(mom looking outside and said...)
Mom: there is no one standing.
Son: look there mom, he is selling ice-cream in sunlight.
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* Pratik: Bro I want to go to marriage, which "coat" should I wear to become iconoclastic? 
Nikhil: I think you need to wear "पेटीकोट ".
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* Remember the caste voters, you are choosing a leader, not your brother-in-law.
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* If you want to earn with the help of Facebook and Whatsapp than, delete both of them and start finding jobs.
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* Boyfriend: why did not you come tomorrow.
Girlfriend: because a beautiful tragedy happened in my home.
Boyfriend: beautiful tragedy means?
Girlfriend: "सुन्दरकाण्ड ".
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* Santa went on date with the girlfriend for the first time ...........
Santa: This is my first date if there is any mistake or lack, forgive as a younger brother.
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* Husband: would you like to act in my movie.
Wife: yes but what is the scene.
Husband: "slowly you need to go to water".
Wife: Agreed but what is the name of your movie?
Husband: "गई भैंस पानी में ".
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* Mother-in-law: son-in-law what you want to become in next birth?
Son-in-law: "lizard".
Mother-in-law: But why?
Son-in-law: Because your girl is just scared of lizards.
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* Pastry roller is that kind if a gadget which is used to make the round chapattis and also help to makes your Husband straightforward.
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* Marvadi in the temple, "God if you will give me Rs.1000 than I will give you Rs.500 in your feet..."
In a short distance, He got a note of Rs.500.
Marwali, "God you don't even trust me, you already deduct your Rs.500 share."
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